Should Adoptive Parents Search for their Adopted Children’s Birth Families? I have mixed feelings about this post…still trying to sort through them. And, I’m not at all surprised that the comment I had submitted was not actually published. Good lesson learned–write your comments down somewhere else first, then post. Unfortunately, they’re lost in the pit of discarded adoptee opinions…and I’m too tired to try to rewrite them.
Is separation at birth traumatic? I was just having a conversation the other day about this…so many have a hard time believing that infants can experience trauma, or grief, and cite the lack of research on both as reasons why infant adoption is “no big thing”–after all, they can’t remember it and have no verbal language to express their feelings.
As a doula, I spend a lot of time with parents talking about the importance of skin-to-skin contact, because we know that infants are finely attuned to their mothers’ scents, and that when mothers and infants are together, mothers can regulate body temperature of their infants automatically.
I’m not saying that biology alone is a reason why we should limit infant adoptions…rather that we need to recognize that there are biological connections at birth, and that infants can tell the difference, even if they can’t tell us in words.